It’s Hard Not To Put In My Three Cents
I receive a bill from AT&T in the mail. The balance is 3 cents. For a moment, I wonder if it is possible to write a check for 3 cents before the sheer ridiculousness of the situation occurs to me. What, on earth, is AT&T thinking about when they send out a bill for 3 cents? Or more precisely, why doesn’t AT&T think? The process of collecting the data, analyzing it, tabulating it, putting it to paper, putting it in an envelope, paying the postage – how much did that cost? More than 3 cents, I would bet.
I call AT&T to get them to do what they should have done without my help – credit my account. Otherwise, heaven forbid, if I just ignore it, I can imagine this escalating, going to collections, getting on my credit report and other unimaginable out of control consequences. I get through all of the push this, push that, etc. etc., enter this, enter that, enter your underwear size, etc. etc. and can’t find a good solution for – my bill is ridiculous, let me talk to a real person. I finally reach a customer service rep who, as is usual with all those companies that make you input huge amounts of data while waiting, has no idea of my phone number, let alone my mother’s maiden name. They sympathize about my bill, say they can’t help me, but are transferring me to the department that can. I arrive in collections, which is a little concerning because I just received the bill an hour ago. Collections wants to know how I got to them, like I have any idea, and transfers me to someone who can really help me. Of course each of these transfers requires me to re-identify myself with multiple pieces of personal information.
This time the agent tells me he will check to see if he has authority to credit 3 cents and comes back to tell me that this would require a senior specialist. I want to ask him what his limit is, 1 cent, but decide this has become a serious matter with no room for levity. Next transfer, I am back in collections again. This time the rep assures me they will stay on the line with me until we reach someone who can help, really. Next thing I know I am back in the automated system punching buttons to input all that personal data again. Once I reach another rep, she seems amazed that I would imagine that AT&T would ever credit the balance off a bill, no matter the amount. “No, “ she says, “You have to pay it.” “Do you want me to tape 3 one cent coins on the bill, or what would you suggest?” I say as sarcasm and frustration and my lack of ability to exert any sort of control over the situation hit me. I get put back into the automated system at the very beginning again.
One hour and twenty minutes later, I am now talking to the 15th or so rep, my frustration level is extremely high. “Let me see what is going on here,” she says after I passed the personal question test with flying colors, even prompting her on the next question as I am now so familiar with the questions! “Oh” she says, “your balance was credited off already!” “When?” I ask. “Three hours ago,” she tells me. I didn’t know whether to kiss her or kill her. During this entire time, not one person had thought to check?
Later that day, I heard that AT&T had just announced record earnings. So, I guess the Chairman of the Board isn’t interested in hearing from me about how they could save a few bucks by crediting off anything under $1 (or whatever the costs are for sending out an insignificant bill and spending 1.5 hours of customer service time with a customer – let alone how much it costs to have a very unhappy customer).
If I needed one last reason to be pushed to try Skype, I guess it happened today.
Gillian Parrillo
The Sacramento Executive
