Lately I have been hanging out in too many doctors' offices. And the more I do, the more disgusted I get. So I started talking to my friends about their trips to the doctor's, and they are disgusted too.

It seems that every time we go with a complaint, we are treated as if we are lucky, at our age, to feel as good as we do. And no one seems to be able to diagnose what is wrong with us. It's all blustery talk and promises of complete cures and then months later, and thousands of dollars later, you still have what you had when you showed up the first time.

Over the past eight months, I have seen 3 different orthopedic guys, had multiple cortisone shots in various parts of my anatomy, with promises of more to come in different parts of my anatomy, tried hundreds of hours of physical therapy, tens of hours of chiropractics, and my original complaint - a hip that hurts - is still my original complaint. Accupuncture, anyone?

But now, because they can't fix it, I am told that my CAT scan is better than age appropriate. Translation: At your age, you are lucky you can walk without a cane.

My friend, who is a senior academic, has been in and out of the hospital with stomach problems. When no one could figure out what was wrong with her, her doctor told her she had a shrivelled uterus and ovaries. Good grief. I guess she is supposed to be grateful to be able to walk on this planet unaided.

I don't want to have to go to one more doctor and plead my case. I am not a hypochondric, I don't doctor shop, I don't want any more steroids, I just want you to fix my hip pain.

Next week, it's off to the allergist to figure out why I keep getting this itchy rash all over my body. I am probably allergic to bad doctors.

Gillian Parrillo
SacWomen